


A Not So Epic Battle

by cephalopod_groupie



Series: Newmann Tumblr Ficlets, Prompts, and AUs [18]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Funny, M/M, Romance, pinkie prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2731442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cephalopod_groupie/pseuds/cephalopod_groupie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oooh, ooh. I just thought of a silly little headcanon where Newt and Hermann are in a sort of passive aggressive greeting card battle. Like newt picks out 'best grandpa' cards and Hermann retaliates by getting 6 different 'congratulations on your doctorate' cards." - pinkieblues</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Not So Epic Battle

After another spat, (basically the continuation of the other two just like it) in which Newton called Hermann “grandpa,” he went out and got a greeting card with that sentiment on it.

"Newton! How dare you!" he yelled as he whipped the card off his desk. Newton wasn’t in the lab at the time and when he got back Hermann was gone. The following morning, Newton found a card on his desk and smiled. 

“Here we go, payback,” Newton said to himself. A  _Congratulations on your Doctorate_ card was waiting at his desk. Then a _Congrats on Your Doctoral Graduation_ was on his dissection tray, and a _You’ve Earned It! Congrats on Achieving your PHD_  was tucked under his mp3 player. Six cards in all. One was even slipped under his door, the fifth tacked onto the wall, and the last was tucked in his laptop bag. Newton was amused by Hermann’s level of childishness but kind of annoyed that he had really been beaten in this ridiculous silent game.

 _Congratulations on Your First Day of Kindergarten_ awaited Hermann two days later. He grumbled under his breath the entire day and Newton chuckled to himself as he cut a cross section of Kaiju remains in half.

1.5 days later: A  _Happy 5th Birthday!_  card with a huge cartoon Kaiju on the front was shoved under his door. Newton didn’t even go into the lab but went straight to town and bought a _Sorry for the Loss of Your Friend_ card, crossed out _friend_ and scrawled _dignity_  directly above it. He threw it like a Frisbee and it landed on Hermann’s desk, nearly sliding onto the floor. At lunch, Hermann opened the card and huffed. Neither of them spoke to each other. Hermann returned to his chalkboard and stared at the numbers. It suddenly dawned on him that he and Newton were trying to predict the end of the world and here they were playing this silly game with bits of folded card stock. He was gone most of the following day and returned in the evening. In the morning, Newton arrived at his desk early, expecting another card and was not disappointed. He was just about to hurl it over his shoulder, unread, when he notice a thin wrapped box beneath it. He opened the card, still staring at the box. It was a proper, adult, serious,  _Happy Birthday_ card.

_Dear Newton,_

_I’m sorry we had to get into this silly game. I apologize for my contribution in all of this. Seeing as your actual birthday is around the corner, I decided to get you a decent card and a little something._

_Hermann_

Newton opened the box. It was a new, shining, scalpel with an exquisitely carved Kaiju-shaped handle in a frankly beautiful deep blue. He stared at it in his hands with his mouth agape. Hermann walked in and sat at the high stool at his desk. He looked over at Newt and almost smiled to himself but waited to see what would happen. He heard Newton walk over to him, but kept his head down, catching a glimpse of Newton’s white button-down in his periph. Newton kissed him on the cheek. 

"I take it, you will get some use out of it," Hermann said, pretending not to care, shuffling aimlessly through one of his notebooks. 

"It’s beautiful, Hermann."

"Good."

"Sorry for being childish."

"I bought more cards than you."

"What made you do _this_?” Hermann gestured at the chalkboard. Newton looked across the room and stopped to think about the gravity of what that meant, the prediction of Kaiju attacks, the very fate of the world. Newton wrapped his arms around Hermann’s upper chest and pressed his head softly to the man’s temple. 

"I’lll buy you a thank you card tomorrow." Hermann closed his eyes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you pinkieblues for the following: "But imagine Hermann is looking at his calculations and realise the world is coming to an end, and he goes out and buys a proper birthday card and present for Newt."
> 
> [Original post.](http://missanthropicprinciple.tumblr.com/post/99771160938/oooh-ooh-i-just-thought-of-a-silly-little)


End file.
